agonyaunt | Sep. 11th, 2024

Sep. 11th, 2024

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: As soon as I graduate next spring with my bachelor’s degree, I intend to enter the convent of the religious order that taught at my high school. I had wanted to enter at the end of my senior year there, but my parents insisted I go to a four-year-co-ed college at least 100 miles from home, so I would have to live there so I would have “the full college experience”.

I have not liked having to wait, but since my vocation came to me when I was 15, I have known what I must and will do and I do not resent my parents’ asking this delay of me.

I know my parents continue to hope I will meet some nice guy and fall in love with him and decide I do not want to enter religious life. But I dated a couple of those nice guys, and there were zero sparks. All this entire experience did was to confirm my devotion to my chosen life.

It is obvious this all greatly bugs my parents, and I hate that part of it, but I have a calling, and that ultimately cannot be pushed aside or denied. Life outside the order would be miserable for me.

I know my parents are praying this will be the year I change my mind, but I will not. I know that.

What more can I do to convince my parents I am doing what is best for me and what will make me happy? --- HAVE MY CALLING

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conuly

Our 1st-grade son has been wanting to grow out his hair since around preschool. My partner and I have been supportive of this because we honestly don’t care what his hair looks like as long as he likes how it looks. His other parent has not enjoyed the long hair look and has been pretty vocal about it. They’ve taken him to get his hair cut a few times now, without notifying us first, twice explicitly against his will (where he told us both times he was very upset). A few weeks ago, he told me at bedtime that his other parent keeps bugging him about cutting his hair, which bothers him a lot. My partner and I reiterated to him that he gets to keep his hair however he wants because it’s his hair. It’s something all three parents had multiple conversations and agreements about.

(Our rules for keeping long hair are that he has to routinely shampoo and condition and use a wet brush in the shower to keep it tangle-free. He also understands the concept of dead-ends and knew he’d need a trim soon—which he was not very happy about until he realized it would make his hair healthier.)

Well, his other parent took him to get a haircut this week. They told us that our son said “yes” and was fine with it. It is not a trim. A lot got cut. The parent wanted it shorter but didn’t go shorter because our son didn’t want that. In the moment, we said explicitly (and calmly and kindly), “Please don’t cut his hair again without letting us know first, because the last time we spoke to him, he was really against a haircut and we would have wanted to hear it from him first.” Other parent explains that they had a very jokey, fun time about it. We asked our son how he felt about his hair, with all three of us with him, and he kind of brushed us off and said it was fine. It felt like he didn’t want to talk about it. When he got back to our house, we asked him again. We were super casual about it and said the answer didn’t really matter, we were just really curious and wanted to learn what made him change his mind about wanting a haircut. He said he didn’t really want it, but that his other parent told him, “I’m just going to keep asking you until you say yes,” (I imagine this was supposed to be a joke?), and so he said yes because he was annoyed and wanted it to stop. How would you proceed from here?

—Co-parents

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minoanmiss

This is not going to go over well.

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Agony Aunt

Sep. 11th, 2024

Sep. 11th, 2024

(no subject)

This is not good advice, though it tries

How To Do It: My Husband and I Discovered a Terrible Secret About My Brother-in-Law on Vacation

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