agonyaunt | Oct. 31st, 2022

Dear Prudence,

My ex and I had a one-night stand that ended in a pregnancy. Neither one of us was in a position to be a parent, but she couldn’t stand the thought of getting an abortion. We actually did have a great family lined up to adopt the baby, but my ex’s religious nut of a mother messed with her head and guilted her into keeping the baby. At this point, I offered to sign away my parental rights because I was just tired of the entire situation. They accepted and the grandparents adopted the baby. I haven’t heard from them since and went on with my life.

The kid is now an adult and has been messaging me on social media and wants “answers.” I had already sent them our full medical history and a short explanation about the circumstances of the conception (aka us being young, dumb kids). I wished them well but said I would rather not continue contact. They still want “answers” and are asking to meet face-to-face. What are my ethical obligations here?

I have been told by other people the kid deserves closure but closure over what? There is a biological link but that is it. I had nothing to do with how they were raised and I don’t feel anything particular about them. I also don’t want to particularly cause them pain. What should I do?

—Sperm Donor

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Agony Aunt

Oct. 31st, 2022

Oct. 31st, 2022

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