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conulyI have three adult children, 28, 25, and 22. The older two maintain regular contact with my mother. The youngest, “Kelsey,” has cut off contact. The reason? My mom called Kelsey to wish her a happy birthday a few months ago. Kelsey was out with friends and talked for about 15 minutes before getting off the phone. My mom was upset Kelsey cut the call short, then asked my other children why Kelsey was upset with her, which of course got back to Kelsey.
Kelsey now thinks my mom is “holding a grudge” against her (Kelsey’s words) because Kelsey didn’t want to speak on the phone for a long time. I think it’s ridiculous that Kelsey cut off contact over this misunderstanding. I have repeatedly asked her to just pick up the phone and call her grandma, but she keeps saying her grandma should make the first move, and that she doesn’t want to engage with someone who holds grudges and “keeps score.”
My mom is deeply upset to no longer have a relationship with her granddaughter. The holidays are upon us, and they’ll soon be in the same room. What can I do to mediate the conflict between them and restore family harmony?
—Stuck in Seattle
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Kelsey now thinks my mom is “holding a grudge” against her (Kelsey’s words) because Kelsey didn’t want to speak on the phone for a long time. I think it’s ridiculous that Kelsey cut off contact over this misunderstanding. I have repeatedly asked her to just pick up the phone and call her grandma, but she keeps saying her grandma should make the first move, and that she doesn’t want to engage with someone who holds grudges and “keeps score.”
My mom is deeply upset to no longer have a relationship with her granddaughter. The holidays are upon us, and they’ll soon be in the same room. What can I do to mediate the conflict between them and restore family harmony?
—Stuck in Seattle
( Read more... )