agonyaunt | Sep. 17th, 2024

Sep. 17th, 2024

Dear Lizzy,

I’m a woman in a long-term relationship but decided in my 20s not to have kids. I am quite happy with my decision. I can go on trips and sleep whenever I want for as long as I want. But I have several old friends who still cannot seem to believe me when I say I am happy. There are the sort of sideways remarks like, “What about when you’re old?” or “We’ll see…” implying I will change my mind and get pregnant. But also blatant things like, “You don’t know what love really means until you have a kid.”

I know what love means and also, I legitimately am happy! What can I do to make them understand I don’t need their pity?

A Childless Cat Lady

( Read more... )

conuly

Dear Carolyn: I recently had a baby and it’s been a rough transition to say the least. After the first few nights of no sleep, I asked my mom whether she could help us with the night feedings. I figure, she’s retired and can make up the sleep while my husband works and needs to be alert all day! Mom’s been a big help, spending the night almost every night for the past month. She has never once complained.

But my brother just reamed me out over the phone! He said Mom is exhausted and overwhelmed and I need to stop asking her to spend the night. I pointed out that Mom had never said any of that to me! He said I should know she has trouble saying “no,” so it’s my responsibility not to ask her for “too much.” I figure if she says yes, then it’s not too much.

I really don’t want to handle all the overnight feedings by myself. But how do I know if I’m asking for too much? Isn’t it my mom’s responsibility to say no if she doesn’t want to help?

Possible context: My brother and his wife have two kids and never once had my mom help overnight in the newborn phase. So I think this may just be sour grapes.

— Asking Too Much?

( Read more... )

conuly

Dear Carolyn: I got my dream job last year and moved to New York City. I found a decent place to live with three compatible roommates and I’m figuring things out and loving life. My parents, on the other hand, are miserable. They live only a few hours away in a small town and think I am going to get killed or robbed living where I do. They can’t accept that I can take care of myself.

They call me every day. I answer when I can, but it’s not always convenient. Sometimes I’m asleep, sometimes it’s too early, and sometimes I’m just busy and don’t want to talk to them or anyone else for that matter. When I don’t answer, they immediately call my roommates, one after another. Then my roommates end up waking me or texting me to call my parents so they stop freaking out.

I understand my parents’ being nervous, but it’s been nine months now and they’re always calling about something unimportant that can wait. It’s so embarrassing to explain to my roommates why my parents are calling them about me when I’m almost 25. I’ve asked my parents to stop but they say they can’t, so I told my roommates to block my parents’ numbers.

Yesterday when I called my mom back, she was sobbing, saying my dad almost had a heart attack when they couldn’t get a hold of any of us. He wanted to call the police. I tried to talk to him, but he was too mad at me to take my call. I don’t know what to do. I want to live my life, but I hate upsetting them this way.

— Check-in Trap

( Read more... )

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
1	2	3	4	5	6	7
8	9	10	11	12	13	14
15	16	17	18	19	20	21
22	23	24	25	26	27	28
29	30

Agony Aunt

Sep. 17th, 2024

Sep. 17th, 2024

Why Tho? Are friends who question your decision to not have kids actually your friends?

(no subject)

(no subject)

Profile

June 2025

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Active Entries

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags