Exhausted wife losing it My husband of three years and I are trying for kids, and so far we have been unsuccessful. We decided to get medical help, and the doctor recommended that I lose some weight during the process. I am doing so (I’ve already lost 30 pounds in three months!), but all my husband can talk about is that I need to lose more weight. He talks about it nonstop, and it’s stressing me out a lot, which also isn’t good for trying to get pregnant. I’ve asked him multiple times to lay off, but he doesn’t stop. Also, my job is a contract and is ending next summer, so whenever he’s not telling me to lose more weight, he’s telling me to find another job ASAP. I’m applying to jobs left and right, but haven’t had any interviews yet. He has trouble sleeping and often stays up until 2 a.m. watching movies on his phone, but the noise from his phone affects my sleep quality, and he doesn’t like wearing headphones to bed. This makes me even more exhausted during the day.

I love him and don’t want to get divorced, but I’m stressed out and exhausted, especially since he ignores my requests to stop. Any suggestions?

A: You need to have a serious conversation with yourself about whether you want to have children with someone who shows a lack of respect for you by harassing you about your weight and your job search, despite the fact that you have both of these things handled, and refuses to compromise or make adjustments to allow you to get the sleep you need. This isn’t a person who treats you with compassion or recognizes the hard work you’re doing, and it will only get worse when you have a baby. Move to the couch and get rest, and when you are less exhausted and can think clearly, make a list of the qualities you’d like to see in the father of your child. I’m guessing he doesn’t have most of them. Therapy is worth a try, but letting years go by isn’t going to help your fertility, so if he doesn’t quickly change his behavior, think about moving on and freezing your eggs, and/or finding a partner who treats you better.