See, I've been in relationships with people who would absolutely spend the equivalent of tires money on a basically selfish purchase, knowing full well we needed tires (or rent or the phone bill or whatever), then insist they had no idea we didn't have the money.

I sincerely do not believe they were the people behaving appropriately in those cases, so I'm not very sympathetic to the letter writer in #1. Although the masculinity stuff there is bizarre.