Dear Prudence,

My grandmother “Rose” passed at the age of 97. The funeral was yesterday. My son, “Xavier,” who’s almost 4, came with us to the service, and while it’s not exactly something I wanted to do, I spoke with him about death and how we wouldn’t see his great-grandmother anymore. He was sad, but also calm about it in a way that’s unusual for him. I wasn’t sure if he really understood what death was, so I probed about it a bit, and his answers troubled me.

He gave what is basically a Malthusian argument. After all, he said, people have babies all the time, and my wife is currently pregnant—he knows a baby’s coming to our house. But if people keep having babies and nobody “leaves,” then there won’t be enough food, housing, or clothes for everyone as more and more people live on Earth. So clearly some people have to die. He’s sad he won’t see Grammy anymore, but she was the oldest person he knew, so it makes sense it was her turn next.

None of that is wrong exactly, but it’s also kind of chilling, isn’t it? Or maybe it’s more normal than I think. Is this something I have to worry about?

—Mortal Peril

Dear Mortal,

I’m sorry for the loss of your grandmother, and I’m glad you got to have such a long time with her. You do not need to worry about Xavier. Kids respond to death in all kinds of different ways, and this “logical” processing of a funeral is totally fine. It’s a developmentally appropriate, superficial explanation of death that gets the most important facts right: that his great-grandmother is gone, and that it’s a normal part of life, even if it’s sad. He sounds like a child who likes to think through questions and find answers that make sense to him.

It’s up to you how deep you want to go into it. His understanding is going to remain surface-level for many years, and trying to explain to him why Rev. Malthus’ ideas remain hotly debated by philosophers, economists, and demographers to this day probably won’t get you very far. But let me assure you that your son is not secretly evil, like Damien from The Omen. He’s just a kid figuring out the world.

—Prudie, realistically