I dunno; I feel like the columnist is reading too much in to what the husband is saying. My parents had this same kind of "call and response." My mom just wanted a little reassurance and my dad always gave it to her without a lecture and in a very brief and almost ritualistic way and yet with great love.

I don't think any kind of detailed factual response is necessary from the husband when the wife asks these things. It's just kind of a litany of reassurance that one is is still loved and acceptable.

And it's not the wife's fault that the relentless DO NOT GET OLD OR LOOK OLD message in this culture is overwhelmingly aimed at women. It takes a very strong person to shrug it off.