DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I grew up with my first cousin almost like she is my sister. Her house was two blocks away from mine. We were born two weeks apart, went to the same schools growing up, were in marching band together in high school, went to the same college, met our future husbands and got married within months of each other.

So you could say we have this kind of competition thing, because when I say we did all these things at almost the same time, sometimes she was first, sometimes it was me, but the other one of us was always right behind the other on purpose.

I found out I was pregnant in early April and three weeks later, guess what? She told me she too is pregnant. She said they had been planning this, but I say she can’t stand for me to beat her at anything.

Up until she heard I was pregnant, she told everyone she wanted to wait five years after getting married to start a family. Now she says I got pregnant at three and a half years in just to beat her, and I think she got pregnant now to not let me be the only one with a baby.

Can you believe anyone would get pregnant just to compete? --- CAN’T LET HERSELF LOSE

DEAR CAN’T LET HERSELF LOSE: This sounds like a mutual rivalry, which I can’t help thinking is something you both feel a need to perpetuate.

It’s not uncommon for life events to happen in clusters within families and groups of friends. People often reach certain milestones at similar times as their peers. Nothing new there.

What seems to be the case with you and your cousin is that neither of you is willing to be the odd one out, and that isn’t generally the best motive for taking on major life events.

Rather than looking sideways at your cousin, it might be a good idea to step back and review your own choices and why you’ve made the ones you have.

Deciding to do something for its own sake, rather than as part of a game of one-upmanship is a healthier life strategy in my opinion.

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