[Get the tissues before you start reading.]

Dear Care and Feeding,

I am writing to update you on the letter “I’m Not a Monster Anymore.” The writer, "Owen," is my adopted son, and he referred to me as "Greg" in his letter. I think Owen must have forgotten that I am the person in our household who reads Slate advice columns and originally showed him this page! I came across his letter last week and ended up crying on public transport.

I thought you would appreciate knowing that he took your advice and wrote us a letter (with pen and paper, 1800s-style!) in which he apologized for the anger he’s expressed toward me specifically over the years. It meant the world to me. He didn’t end up asking about coming to the meal because I beat him to it and asked if he would like to come when we were having a big conversation about his letter to us—I’d honestly thought he would say no and was thrilled that he seemed keen to come for a change.

We’ve talked a lot and, after discovering his letter here, my husband and I have had a long talk with him about using kinder language to describe himself and about his place as being very much one of our "real kids." He was not a monster, for the record—just a handful, and we understood why. Thank you so much for the thoughtful response you wrote to him!
—Greg

Dear Greg,

Well, I’m crying. I’m sure most of my readers are crying (they were all cheering for Owen). I could not be happier with this update. You and your husband are wonderful parents and wonderful people, and you have raised wonderful children.

I’m maudlin because of the new year, but what a great reminder that people are always more than their trauma, and that love and patience and compassion and more patience can do more than we can possibly imagine. I have so much faith that this difficult conversation will lead to a parent-child relationship in which Owen no longer feels like he’s always the taker and never the giver. Your love and your pride for him is so clear in just these short paragraphs.

I wish you a wonderful 2020.

—Nicole