3. My ex’s now-wife applied for a job on my small team

I was in a long-term relationship that ended several years ago. Generally, we were not good for each other in the romantic sense, and things ended on a not-so-great note. Fast forward to today: I am now happily married with a baby on the way. He is also married, though I have not spoken to him, nor do I know his partner in any way. He met her toward the end of our relationship, and there is a possibility that he emotionally cheated on me with her. Again, I have moved on and do not care.

I started a new job in the last six months in a small department. I recently found out from my coworker that my ex’s wife has applied for an open position in our department. The position is not located in the same building as mine, so interaction would be limited to team meetings that happen maybe once a month.

Being so new, I want to be as professional as I can be (especially now that I will be leaving for maternity leave before my first year anniversary with the company). I can easily put the past behind me and be polite and professional with this person. I am unsure of how she would react though, and this situation has potential to be very awkward. Should I flag this to my boss?

Unless you have reason to think your ex’s wife wouldn’t handle the situation professionally, I wouldn’t be terribly worried, especially since you wouldn’t be working together closely.

That said, I tend to believe more information is better than less, so you could mention it to your boss and let her make the call on whether it’s something she wants to consider. If you do, be clear that you don’t have any reason to think poorly of the candidate or to think she’d conduct herself unprofessionally but are just flagging it in case she wants to be aware of the connection. You could frame it as, “I don’t know her at all and I’d have no problem interacting with her just like I would with any other colleague, but I figured I’d mention it in case it’s the kind of connection you’d rather know about.”