I find myself wondering -- especially in view of that other letter to a different columnist that garnered a similar sympathetic but useless reply -- if the columnists saw the opening sentences that read "I am a teenager/a 14-year old" and got that sinking "Oh, shit, I'm going to have to run this one past Legal" feeling (because, minor/underage correspondent), and Legal, being trained to consider worst-case scenarios, essentially said, "No, you can't say that," to any advice more specific than expressions of sympathy.

Which would be fairly spineless of Legal, if so, but legal departments aren't paid to have spines.